Lately I’ve had a real desire to have a blog where no one knows who I am. Being an anonymous blogger is all the rage these days, and I simply do not understand how it’s possible to keep a secret on the internet.
Two of my very favorite anonymous bloggers can be found here and here. I can’t even write their names of their blogs, because I don’t use that language. My mom might read it. (mom, that was comment to you to see if you’re really reading my blog.)
Disclaimer: I don’t actually know how to be anonymous online. I’m writing this in hopes that someone will tell me. However, I’m told over and over that a How To post will make readers open a post, so I figured I should use the title. Ideally, someone will tell me in the comments how to be Anonymous, so the post will turn out to fit the title anyway.
Rather than writing about what I really want to say, I often share things on my blog that are safely (as in mildly, or not at all really) controversial. Like the fact that I let my five year old eat cold pizza for breakfast this morning (I really did.) It’s a safe, half confession that will draw in safe judgement. I would never put something out there that someone could actually judge about me. Or, they could, but it wouldn’t be a judgement that would actually impact my view of who I am.
Here’s what I wouldn’t do on an anonymous blog. I wouldn’t share people’s secrets. I wouldn’t bash people. I wouldn’t even use the F word.
I would just be myself.
I know I’m a good writer, but a lot of times I don’t let that show because I’m afraid of the judgement that would follow me actually putting myself out there.
Sad, that even in my 30s, I haven’t learned to do that. But I’m a people pleaser by nature, and I hate the feeling that I may have offended someone, or annoyed someone or given someone reason to judge me. Pathetic, right?
I can already hear some of the arguments against my desire to be anonymous. “Just be yourself, stop caring what other people think!” But I can’t.
I was raised in a family that kept secrets. (see, I’m already super worried that I’m offending my mom, if she’s reading this.) It sounds like a bad thing, but it is actually very healthy in some ways. I am very observant of other people’s feelings. I’m careful not to say something that will embarrass or offend those around me. It can actually be refreshing in a society where being offensive to remain true to yourself is the trend.
But it’s exhausting too. I have opinions. Strong ones. I’d like to talk about them, but I want to do it from behind a safety net. That safety net can be a person who I can trust not to judge as I’m learning and growing in my opinions. Those people are few and far between though.
I prefer to take the easy way out. To blog anonymously. But it’s not possible, right? Someone, somewhere, would be able to figure out who I am, right? Someone would figure out my IP address and then hunt me down using google places or something. (Anyone else detecting an over exaggerated sense of self importance here?)
I know about purchasing the privacy option when buying a url. That’s not enough though, is it? What about when I need help with my blog, would I be able to anonymously hire an outsourcer? What about social media? I would need someone on the inside in order to promote, right? Someone at mommyish has to know who “B” is, and at least Jeremy Schoemaker knows who his anonymous blogger is. Is that the only way to do it?
Is there any situation where I would be completely safe from discovery, or at least safe enough that I would feel comfortable being open? I obviously don’t know enough about the technical details to know how one figures out who the owner of a blog is. Any tools beyond whois.com are beyond me. This being the case, I obviously don’t know how to avoid detection.
It’s not even just about sharing my opinions. It’s about being creative without being scared the backlash may impact my daily life. I have stories I’d love to share. I’m not talking about sharing my deepest darkest secrets, just a forum where I can be slightly more open, where I’m not afraid that someone from my day to day might run across the words I’m saying. (Is it obvious that I’m already talking myself out of this?!)
Coward? Maybe. Probably. I’m okay with people knowing that about me. It’s one of those safe confessions that invites safe judgement.
Can you teach me how to be anonymous online? I can’t wait to hear from you 
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Put it all in a guest post and I will put it on my site without your name. Then you can see how people comment but not really care because they won’t know it’s you anyway. Crap. That won’t work now that I have put it out there publicly.
Tricia recently posted..Affiliate Summit Will Make You Money
Now you can write anonymously on your blog and pretend like it was me.
Ashley Coombe recently posted..How to Be Anonymous on the Internet
It doesn’t work. Eventually you’ll slip up and someone will find out. Photos contain EXIF data, which can include the location (latitude / longitude) of where the photo was taken. Even your writing style may out you.
Don’t hide.
Just write what you want. Those that don’t want to read it, won’t read it. And who cares?
Eric Nagel recently posted..Speed Up Your Site With a CDN
Is it strange that I KNEW you were going to be the one to say that?
Ashley Coombe recently posted..How to Be Anonymous on the Internet
I’m with Eric. Don’t hide.
That said, you don’t have to link your properties. You have this site here that is quite nice and serves an audience. You could very well start another site, with your name on it, that is a polar opposite of what you do here. If you don’t link from one to the other, most of your readers of one will never realize the other exists.
You also have options as far as how much of your name you want on another site. Maybe you have it on the About page that it’s you – your whole name, your story, etc. But maybe for your posts’ author name, you use A. Coombe or just Ashley. That’s not hiding, but it’s also not advertising your entire identity.
Daniel M. Clark recently posted..Better Living Through Automation
At the risk of sounding really stupid, I’m just going to admit I never thought of this! I don’t have to say who I am, or at least I don’t have to announce that I’m hiding it. The more I think about it, the more I realize how narcissistic it is to assume someone will want to know. I mean, if I can’t get my own mom to read my blog when it is publicized, she’s probably not going to read it when it’s not…
Great idea DMC. I’m going to go ahead and have a blog where I just choose not to point out who I am and never link them. Shhh!
I’ve never had an anonymous blog, but I’ve been thinking about writing children’s stories under a pseudonym — not because I want to hide, but because I enjoy writing them but wouldn’t want kids Googling my name and then finding my “adult” fiction (horror, drama, and other genres with more adult subject matter). I’d probably be pretty “out” about who my alter ego actually is.
I can understand why you’d want to blog under another name, because it could definitely be freeing. A lot of people blog under fake names because the subject matter is too personal, or it’s for their own protection. (I once knew someone who was abused by her parents and then sexually and physically abused by a boyfriend who wrote under a moniker.) I guess it all depends on the circumstances.
Elizabeth Barone recently posted..Letting Help In
I’m so glad you understand! I’m going to give it a shot and see if anyone ever connects the dots (or cares to?) I don’t have as good of a reason as your friend. Sometimes I just get tired of trying not to be controversial or offensive. I’m too chicken to deal with the consequences
I can’t wait to read what you’re writing!
I’d be thrilled to email you a couple issues of my weekly saga! Do you use an ereader? If so, which one? Otherwise, I can send you PDFs.
I think your reasons for wanting an anonymous blog are completely valid. It took me years of blogging to get into the more controversial stuff (and I still worry that someone might flame me or be offended, but I think I’ve learned how to present the topic in question). I’m terrified of posting about the not so glamorous aspects of being an author, but I’m trying to be honest so it comes with the territory. It’s scary to put yourself out there!
Liz recently posted..Letting Help In
Yes, I have a kindle. Can’t wait!